Heart, Mind and Body
People nowadays are really conscious of their self-appearance, especially me.
I’m one of those who stay long time in front of the mirror before leaving the house to go to school, to work, or go anywhere. The reason is that I’m not one you can admire because of my looks. I don’t have that great body figure that can melt a girl’s heart away.
At one point I aspired and wished to become a vocalist for a band, or a band instrument player that everyone idolizes, but I just don’t have what it takes.
Ever since childhood I always move along trying to improving myself, wanting to be appreciated and noticed by other people, especially by those I have special feelings for. I was always on the lookout for the right products that would make me feel satisfied when I look in the mirror. “Who’s the handsome of them all?”, I talk to myself in front of the mirror, because my answers are the only ones I can accept.
I closely examine all corners of my face. I stand sideways in the mirror and gaze at my stature, my clothes, my whole self. I will just stand there and stare thinking what else do I need to improve my looks.
My teen years were tough when appearance became more and more significant. I think back to those long hours standing in front of the mirror staring at the huge zit on my face thinking how I am going to get it off before someone sees it. I remember trying out “Master Eskinol, Secreto ng mga gwapo” (handsome hunk’s secret) skincare product, but still pimples keep coming out and my face got a lot worse.
In my attempt to get my crush’s attention I have even tried a skin whitening soap to make my skin fair, but it wasn’t effective as girls don’t seem to care much about a man’s skin tone.
I experimented with my hair style and changed my wardrobe, from shoes to accessories. These didn’t work either. I was still invisible to others.
There was a period when I decided to enrol in a gym class attempting to achieve an “abs of steel” in a few months time. After weeks of working out I started seeing results and I could see good muscles in my arms and abs. I walk through our street and it felt like everyone was looking at me in a different way (or was it just my imagination). Women I pass look at me straight in the eyes. I was even approached by a girl and asked for my phone number. But my hunk body didn’t last long. One day I was rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendicitis surgery. I was inactive for some time and then I completely lost my desire to go back to the gym. My body dropped down and I was back to my flabby self.
My appearance did improve as years passed but it took time and it was a slow journey. But I still felt I lacked something overall. I was perpetually unsatisfied with the way I look. I wanted everyone that I admire to like me. When they don’t and I’m heartbroken, I instantly become depressed.
I get headaches thinking “why, what’s going on with me?”
No one knew this. During bouts of self pity I cry alone in my room. Being the darkest skinned among my brothers always affected a part of me secretly. Those tears of self pity because of my appearance, because I was different in my style, my actions, in the way I think. It seemed I lost the feeling of being acceptable and presentable.
Then one day, for whatever reason, I found myself looking in the mirror that once showed my flaws… this time in a different way.
With a simple shift in attitude I finally found the courage to look in the mirror and see a person who is so full of potential, a precious being, a gift from above, a unique person inside and out, a result of love and hope.
After all this time I was placing my attention on the outward image while ignoring my inner connection with God. I didn’t realise He’s always been on my side and His love is reflected in me.
I was never satisfied because I was looking at myself the wrong way!
What I couldn’t see under this all is God’s glorious creativity within me. I am special because I was made in the very image and likeness of God.
Knowing Him is to know yourself and your potential to greatness. God is more than enough to fill up our inner emptiness. In knowing Him we can find satisfaction.
I have learned to appreciate my flaws, look at whatever hateful thing I saw in myself as part of who I am. I no longer pity myself, no longer envious of my brothers’ and other people’s strengths. I embrace my true self exactly as it existed, zits and all.
It all starts in our hearts - the change in how we see ourselves.
Surrender your hearts under the care and guidance of God.
Our hearts are capable of accepting anything be it happiness or pain. Even if it takes a long time, our hearts are able to heal. You nourish your heart by learning to love yourself as God loves you, accept everything about you. Believe God has moulded you into loveliness and a person with full potential. If sometimes you feel things are not fair and you feel trampled on by others, just accept and learn to overcome. Look at it as an opportunity for spiritual progress then go forward with your faith undaunted. Remember if God allows these sufferings it is because he wants us to learn and come out of these trials as a person not easily broken.
Our hearts can do us harm too. If we let it plan its way without God’s guidance, our hearts can explore things we have no understanding and may lead us in the wrong direction.
“I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.” 1 Chronicles 29:17
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “ Matthew 7:7
Our Mind enters when our hearts can’t bear a situation and can’t see the bigger picture.
Our mind helps us to think, ask, and look for answers. What are we going to do, how will we react, and how will we make the decisions that will influence our actions.
Continue to search for God. Nourish our minds by learning God’s words and His ways. Fill your mind with the things of God. This will give us wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
We should teach our minds to explore more about his grace, and use this as guidance to make the right decisions.
Again, without God’s guidance our minds can explore things we have no understanding and may lead us to troubles in the end, because our minds can cause us harm too.
Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how God and pleasing and perfect his will really is.” Romans 12:2
Let your heart and mind work together toward God, for then and only then will your body follow.
If we don’t recognise our connection with God, we tend to abuse ourselves. Many of us don’t care for our bodies as we know we should. We follow the directions of other people and accept many things without thinking whether they are right or wrong.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.” Psalm 139:23
Through my childhood up till now, I know through my own experiences God has always been there guiding me all through my up and down moments. I rejoice finding obstacles in myself, since embracing and overcoming them brings me closer to Him. If you just let your heart and mind be nourished by wonderful things about God, and allowing it to flow through your body, you could become the perfect person that sees beyond his outer flaws, the role model for others to follow.
The path to knowing God personally is never-ending. My journey continues as my life goes on.
I still run into big problems every now and then and my life seems to have become much more complicated lately. But so long as I know in my heart, mind and body that God dwells within me and in each one of us, and is there watching our every move, his words guiding us in all that we do.
I know right now, God is talking to you, like He does to me.. All you have to do is listen.
God Bless and thanks for reading my blog.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Jigsaw Puzzle
I went to mall last week for a short stroll, just to refresh myself on what’s new and latest trends in clothes, computers, and movies.
I checked every shop for special deals and new arrivals. I got a little tired walking and my window-shopping somehow got boring until I browsed through the “Toy World” shop.
I remember those times in the Philippines.. Every time I go home from work, I always end up window-shopping in this mall that is directly connected to my train station (MRT). The mall is also along the main road (EDSA) where I can find either bus or taxi whenever I miss my train.
I had one favourite toyshop in that mall. I remember spending hours looking through those matchbox cars and those little action figures that I dreamt of having when I was kid. If I had the money to blow I would have bought all those toys so I can display them in my room, to satisfy my childhood dream to become the supreme ruler of toys, own them in all possible ways.
So I entered the “Toy world” shop and I felt just like child again while walking around this store. I was imagining myself playing with these amazing toys. It’s a refreshing place to escape real life for a while, forget about your work your busy schedule and escape from your troubles.
As I wandered around the back end of the shop that doesn’t seem to be browsed through that much, I found the learning toys or those toys that encourage creativity and curiosity.
For some reason, there’s one toy that captivated me all of a sudden.
This is a “jigsaw puzzle” of a stunning picture. It’s so cleverly done holding hundreds of pieces in perfect position. The surface has got a glossy finish that reflected my face as I looked through.
As I stood there looking at the pieces in this puzzle, I started thinking about the “pieces” in my life - my family, my friends, the people I loved, events, achievements and celebrations.
I closed my eyes and looked back over the jigsaw puzzle of my life. There’s such a mixture of good and bad, joy and tears, happiness and sorrow. Every person, situation, goals, and trials - each one signifies a piece of my puzzle.
There are pieces that were hurtful. There are pieces that seemed out of place.
However each piece plays an important role.
And when enough time passes for every piece to ease into perfect place, there will be a big picture. A beautiful picture will reveal itself, one that represents myself, my character and my achievements.It will be a picture of hard work, an image of what God wants me to be.
I wonder how my puzzle is going to look like in the end? Am I near complete?
How much more pieces are there to be laid? Will I ever find all my pieces? I want to see the big picture.
But one thing for sure, there’s one piece that stands out as the most important piece in my life. It is my corner piece and it anchors my puzzle. From this corner piece I frame the image I am piecing together. This piece gives me an idea of what my image would be and how wonderful it would all look like.
This piece is God.
God is my strength and my cornerstone and I build my puzzle in the direction
He guides me. Knowing I have God’s guidance gives me hope in whatever I do. He helps me realise that those pieces of my past and present that have caused me pain are there to complete the picture and how he wants me to use them in my life.
I am grateful for the pieces of my life’s puzzle that I have found through experience and commitment to knowing God and his word. They have built my character today and a glimpse of what God has meant for in my life.
It takes a lot of effort to find the right pieces of the puzzle. Some pieces take more time and come harder. However God helps me to understand that my puzzle fits together in His own design and time. Gradually as my pieces fall into place, I am being molded into the man God has destined me to be.
Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. Deuteronomy 8:2
I believe God wants us to be a part of other’s life puzzle too. He wants us to be willing to be used by Him to warm and touch other people’s hearts and to draw hurting people closer to Him.
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7
When I look back over my life I can’t help but wonder what kind of piece am I to other’s puzzle.
Was I a great fit or did I just try to make myself fit, to the point of forcing it even if it wasn’t meant to be?
Two of my friends met their husbands through me.
I’ve led someone to pursue his talents and take up the right course in college.
One found true happiness through my encouragement and advise.
I’ve shared some of my ideas that made them successful in what they do.
But it’s not all positive..
I’ve given other people headache because of my shortcomings and wrong decisions.
I’ve created hurts to others because of my lack of regard for their feelings.
I’ve done a lot of really painful things in my life.
I’m not perfect but I try to be the best person I can be. The parts of me that are not pleasant I try to change. I try to make good things happen, but if they’re just not meant to be I’ve also learnt to let go and just listen to my heart and trust the Lord.
There may be situations in our lives that have caused us to ask ourselves - Where am I going? What am I called to do? Why me? Why this?
Instead of searching for answers, I just keep going on. I believe it is because of these pieces that other pieces are able to ease into place. Without those pieces I won’t be able to move on. Even though they cause me pain and heartache, they bring me one step closer to being complete. They make me the person I am today.
Let’s start putting pieces of our puzzle together. Fill the empty spaces. It could be very frustrating at times but extremely rewarding each time you find a piece that fits. If you find it difficult to look for a missing piece, stop and take a step back. The answers could just be right in front of you all along.
Let’s not shy away from “being a piece”. Inspire others by sharing who you are and how you have succeeded. Help them through their pain because you’ve walked a lot of those pains. Make a difference in their lives through your kindness.
Go in search for all the pieces of your puzzle across life.
Never give up with a piece that hurts.
And I hope it’s God you’ve found first in your jigsaw puzzle…
He sees the big picture, He knows what piece go where.
He will help you piece it all together.
PS:
Just recently, I was fortunate enough to witness and capture the talent of young kids in this video link.Somehow I feel I’m a fitting piece in their life’s puzzle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHoZUfXUbdQ
Loving Your Neighbor
I was asked by our CLP team leader to give a sharing for our CLP session (Talk # 6) tonight, Tuesday 20th of October.The main focus of the session is on “Loving thy Neighbour”.
Before Brendan introduced me to the crowd, I was so terrified. My palms were sweating, knees knocking, my heart beat so loud.I even thought about faking a seizure right that moment !
But I’d like to share one experience that was particularly memorable.Before this speaking event, I’ve resigned myself to the belief that I will just ramble and not hold my speech together. I was sure people won’t get me and I actually expected bad things to happen. And it did.The day before this event, my car broke down (again) and had to be taken to the shop, at this time when I’m also totally broke financially.
I had a mini meltdown inside and I thought this would have been a good excuse to get out of speaking.
But still I didn’t give up, instead I took the train up to St Michael’s.
While sitting on the train station, feeling sorry for myself, a man across the isle approached me and asked if I would like to have his day “pass” ticket.I was surprised but said “okay” for I haven’t paid my ticket yet. He gave me the free ticket and I wondered of all the people there, why he gave the ticket to me. So in short, I said thank you, and he slipped off into the crowd and disappeared.
I didn’t know how to react. I felt a mysterious sensation I’ve never felt before. I realised something, and felt stupid for feeling bad emotionally.
I knew it’s God working, pushing me again to strive no matter what tries to break me! Because I’m a bit hard at understanding (spiritually), God knows I needed to be poked for me to comprehend.
So I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got down at Newmarket station
I told myself, I will stand up.
I was going to let God use me in spite of me.
I will trust the Holy Spirit to use me to say what needs to be said.
I felt embarrassed after the speech. Those who were present were kind enough to fumble over and came up with nice things to say.
Somehow I think I got my message across. Somehow I pulled it off.
I just hope my story has touched them in deep places.
I hope in my own way I was able to address the unspoken question that they have.
I’ve written down my speech below…
Loving Your Neighbor
(SFC CLP Talk #6 Sharing- 20th Oct. 09)
One morning I had a short chat with Brendan, our CLP team leader at Facebook. He wanted to confirm if I would like to be the sharer for CLP Talk 6 meeting.
I pretended I did not understand what he’s saying. I’m quite hesitant to answer yes straight away because I know my weakness. The truth is I feel so nervous whenever I’m in a group discussion and I dreaded that day that I’ll be asked to speak in front of this group. And that’s because I’m having a hard time expressing myself.As my Aunty would put it comically, “English is not really my forte”.
After every CLP meeting we have on Tuesdays, I go home and listen to the talks during the meeting that I recorded and how I’m amazed by their speeches and how they delivered their speeches. I can’t help feeling sad about myself sometimes. How lucky they are, for having a good voice, good thoughts, and how easy it is for them to express themselves. They have the ability to react quickly and answer tough questions when needed. They are able to communicate in a way that can touch people’s hearts.
Sometimes I ask myself why God didn’t shower me with this kind of gift.Or maybe I have it within me, but I just don’t know how to use it.
I remember back home in the Philippines we used to run a little convenience store or dairy. I used to stay there and help my parents tend the store.
One afternoon, there was this old man beggar who was wearing filthy clothes who was standing at the entrance of the nearby store. He was cursing and blessing the passers by. The owner of the store took a stick and tried to drive the beggar away because the beggar is starting to scare the customers away. I didn’t hear what the owner told the beggar, but he left looking really angry, ranting and cursing the owner as he walked away.
So in short, their problem was solved, but the problem is now ours because the beggar started heading in our direction.
The three of us, my parents and I, looked at each other, like asking who’s doing the talking to drive the beggar away like how the nearby store owner did.
But you can sense from our expression that not one wanted to do that. Like synchronized movement we all dashed to the entrance to approach the beggar.
The old man looked at us and there was a moment of silence between us. I was the first one to react and I did a mime with my hand asking “Are you thirsty? Do you need a drink?”
I think the old man got what I wanted to say, he nodded to confirm “yes I needed a drink”.
When I went inside, I noticed my parents are looking at me, watching my every move. I came back holding a glass water, and gave it slowly as if hesitantly to the old man.
Inside I felt heavy I can’t describe why. Maybe I was afraid the beggar would hurt me and it felt a little gross having my hand almost touching the beggar’s hand.
Then when he finished drinking the water, I did a mime hand again like portraying “Are you hungry? Do you like to eat?”, then again he bowed his head twice to confirm “Yes! Please… I’m hungry.”
I went inside again and I noticed my father’s worried reaction about what I’m doing because he saw me taking the spoon, fork, and plate that we ourselves use for eating.
He was worried we might get diseases, allergy, or whatever sickness the beggar has.
When I heard that from my father I felt heavy inside all the more. But I said to myself, “It’s alright. Don’t worry. I’ll wash it and clean it.”
When I handed the food to the old man, I went inside with a heavy heart. I don’t understand why I’m feeling like that inside me and was just standing there in silence when my mother came in to tell me that the old man has finished his meal, and he left without saying anything like “thank you”.
Nobody said a word after the beggar left. I think my father was still worried about the plates and I don’t know what’s on my mother’s mind. And, I still felt this something heavy in my heart. I took the plates inside and started washing it.
While washing, I started to contemplate on what had just happened. Before I knew it tears started to roll down my cheeks.
I’m not sure what made me cry. Was it the heaviness in my heart?
I couldn’t understand why I let myself feel that way when I knew I did the right thing feeding the beggar.
Somewhere within me I felt disgusted with the beggar and couldn’t take it that I let him in our store and fed him with my own hands. And I was all the more disgusted when he left without even saying thank you.
I cried because I’ve treated him well with my actions, but inside me are thoughts of disgust to help a filthy man. I wasn’t sincere about helping him.
How can I feel that way for the man just because he’s different from us? I was thought to Love thy neighbour as commandment straight from God. I had my chance that moment and I couldn’t even live by it.
I shouldn’t have thought twice that the beggar is worthy of God’s love as I.
The heaviness that I felt inside, it is the hardness of my heart.
The very one that’s keeping us from becoming true servants of God.
I sobbed and cried openly (alone). It bothers me to this day. I can’t get that beggar out of my mind. I regretted my thoughts and judgement of the beggar.
So now I challenge you to give freely to people in need and find out for yourself if you are truly injured by the loss of a small amount of your possession. If God gave us a hand out when we did not deserve it, who are we to deny a hand out to filthy bum who does not deserve it?
As you can see behind me (video showing), these are some of the people we will meet in our lives, begging for our help. I know it is really hard for us to see through them, but it will be wonderful if we can teach ourselves always to reach out and give a helping hand.
It is easy to see God’s face in the people you love. But blessed is the man who was splendidly dressed but stopped to give alms to a poor beggar, for he knows that God dwells in humility and he saw God’s face in the humble appearance of the barefoot and ragged beggar.
And blessed is the beggar whose face lift up with joy and didn’t doubt he came face to face with the God of love and generosity as he reached for the man’s hands and bowed in gratitude for his alms.
It’s a simple teaching.
Love your neighbours as you love yourself and that God dwells within each and every one of us.
Just share what you have and treat each other with respect and compassion. That is all.
Sometimes we have to throw away the teachings of men, and just listen with our spiritual ears to truly understand.
I saw this quote once in a Kungfu clip in Youtube.It says“A wise men walks with his head bowed… humble like the dust.” This I think describes how I felt when Brendan asked me to be the sharer for today. I’m not saying I’m a wise man, but I have many thoughts and experience that I wanted to share to everyone. What will I do with these knowledge if I don’t give it out ?But I also have limitations, I’m not a great speaker and my mind goes blank in front of an audience.
But I realise now we don’t have to feel great ourselves to spread a little happiness. So now I’m willing to take the risk, whether I felt prepared or not, whether all of you look surprised to see the likes of me speaking here. I will find it an honor and will say yes to an opportunity like this.
So I’d like to thank Brendan, and all the service team for giving me this opportunity, and thank you all for not oozing hostility at having to hear me out.
To end my sharing for tonight, I’d like to show two short video clips from CARITAS Manila that I got from Youtube.
God Bless and have a good night everyone.
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What’s wrong if you’re not chosen?
…is what I always ask myself whenever I realise that things did not go the way I wanted it, because it was not meant for me, or simply because I was meant to learn something from it.
You put your heart and soul into doing one thing, you put your best foot forward, you strive and pray for it, however at the end of the day, there will be only one person who will be rewarded with the pot of gold, the lucky winner, the only chosen one.
Imagine Cinderella has a friend named Hopefella who’s always there for Cinderella whenever she needed someone to talk to about the maltreatment of her sisters.A friend who’s always at Cinderella’s side and never ceases to encourage her to not surrender, Hopefella herself has her own personal pain and grief as she is also going through the same difficult situation with her master. But at the end of the fairytale, the Fairy Godmother can only give one pair glass of shoes for one person to find happiness and everlasting love. She only came for Cinderella and no one else.
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt like something kind of belongs to you but you can’t have it?
I can empathise with you. I know how it feels…. because I’m always second choice.I’m never first with anything… and it gets harder everyday.
There are some things I want to share, true stories of my (not so pleasant) experiences of life. Things that get me and pull me down to..somewhere.
I don’t think my stories below are any different from yours..
During my childhood days, I was that kind of person who’s always looking for a special attention from my family, friends and schoolmates. Unfortunately no one except my parents paid special attention to me.
But even though I know that my parents love me, as a child sometimes I felt that they really don’t care about me much. I have three brothers and I feel that they are always catered to and favoured compared with me.
Perhaps it was because I wasn’t that cute, cheerful, adorable child people like to pinch. Perhaps it’s because I was dark skinned, maybe I was naughty, or maybe because I was too shy and insecure.
My childhood friends don’t call me whenever they plan to play “patintero”(tag game).
They would call on me only because they’re missing one player. Most of the time
I’d just be standing on the side of the street watching while they continue playing forever.
Sometimes we’d watch a movie together and then we’d play the characters in the movie we’ve just seen. They wouldn’t allow me to play the hero though and always I’d be the bad guy who gets up and starts beating the main character.
I always do my best work at school but I was never good enough or smart enough to be a favourite pupil.
Whenever our teacher would ask us to form ourselves in groups, I sometimes pity myself because my friends (even my seatmate! who I talk to most of the time) don’t seem to want to group with me. I’d find myself either alone, or in a group that lacked a label. I had very few friends. I’ve spent a lot of time in a secluded corner with the unpopular kids… kids like me that are sometimes picked on and teased, or otherwise ignored.
When 6th grade came around, things changed a bit when I became part of the volleyball varsity in our school. Our team made our way up to the district level competitions and I was chosen to be part of the final team that goes to the final level. Or so I thought because my coach disagreed. I thought I was going to make my big debut at volleyball, but that day became the collapse of my sports career.
I didn’t get any Merit badge or any award during my scouting days because I didn’t belong to a higher troop.
I was aiming for a 1st place award in Metal Crafting competition we had in school. I’ve put so much and time and effort into mastering every detail of the piece that we will make in the event only to be told that I’d have to be disqualified because of an accident cut in my hand during the competition. I almost fell apart, nothing is more frustrating than that.
I’m highly unsure on what exactly was going on and oftentimes I’d ask myself is this what real life is all about?
Am I that clumsy and un-attentive that I always make the same basic mistake every single time?Is it because of my appearance that I’m never a personal favourite among my friends? Perhaps because I cannot afford anything to share to others so I can make more friends.Or maybe because of the slight speech deficiency I had which was a very obvious flaw in my character?
I continued to ask God what this all means.
Why am I always rejected.
Why am I always the one left behind..
the person not chosen ?
I have come away sometimes with wonderful ideas, but I’m more easily ignored
I have some good thoughts and suggestions, but no one seem to be interested.
For most people my best was never good enough
I tried so hard to get noticed, but I’m still the invisible one.
I’ve tried to reach out and care..but there’s no one there
Is there something wrong with me?
I’ve loved someone who didn’t love me and I’ve loved someone who’s loved me at one time but couldn’t sustain her feelings because she thinks there’s a far better person than me. I’ve experienced the latter twice.
One prayed for a sign from heaven that whoever does something first is the one.
One thought I’m childish and not emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship.
Is this really my lot in life, to constantly love people who can’t love me ?
When Pope John Paul II visited the Philippines the second time around, I remember my father and I were watching TV about the event. There was a segment in the TV program where a girl was being interviewed and was introduced as the child whom the Pope carried during his first visit to the Philippines.
My father remembered something when the name of our hometown (Villamor Air Base) where Pope John Paul plane first landed, was mentioned. He said he was there too, and he was one among those parents holding their child up in the air as if in offering toward the Pope. In Catholic tradition, the Pope is expected to carry one child and it will be a beautiful blessing.
My father told me I was the child he was carrying. The Pope stopped in front of my father and stretched out his arms, and as my father lowers me down towards him he realised the Pope shifted his body and chose to carry the child beside me.
Now let me say this again…Why not me?
I’m only human, I can’t help but dream that one day I’ll be loved so much that I’m the one that is chosen. I want to be loved for my flaws and my oddness, unconditionally and unwaveringly.
What’s keeping my hope alive right now is the thought that with God and my prayers, I know those whishes will come true.
God is the one who showed me wonderful ideas, that’s why I listen to him.
He teaches me good thoughts, that’s why I follow him.
He reaches out to me and I’m holding his hands so tight.
He’s doing His best for me, that’s why I’m doing my best to share His love and a lot of my heart to other people no matter who they are.
In the story of Abraham (Genesis 21: 1-32), when God promised that Abraham will become the father of all nations he was confused because his wife Sarah is in old age and can no longer become pregnant. But God told Sarah that she will bear a child and told Abraham to name it Isaac. But before Isaac born Abraham had a child named Ishmael from Sarah’s slave named Hagar. Sarah was worried that Ishmael would try to lay claim to Isaac’s inheritance and told Abraham to drive out the slave and her son out of their land. Abraham didn’t like Sarah’s idea but God told to Abraham to listen to his wife because it is Isaac who is the one who will bear his seed.
In this story you will see that Isaac is the chosen one, but God told Hagar not to be afraid and worried because He will take care of them and will make a great nation out of Ishmael’s descendants.
A similar story is in Genesis 48:17-19, when Jacob gave his blessings to his son Joseph, Ephraim and Manasseh. When Joseph saw that his father has laid his hand upon Ephraim, he was not pleased, and he tried to take hold up his father’s hand to remove if from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s head for he was his first born.
But Jacob refused and said: “I know it, my son, I know it. He too will become a people and he too will become great. But, just the same, his younger brother will become greater than he will, and his offspring will become the full equivalent of nations.”
There’s a lot of stories in the bible confirming that the ones that are not chosen are blessed by God as well. Jeremiah 29: 11 “for I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
The ones that are not chosen may not be the top employees in their company, but they are winners in the hearts of their colleagues, friends, and their family.
So what’s wrong if I’m not chosen?
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?
I really shouldn’t be.
Because I know within me, that I’m not alone. Although I’m rejected by people, I know that someone out there is willing to choose me, even if we don’t choose Him, even if we push him aside. He wouldn’t leave us alone even though we have to endure many trials in our lives.
He knows how it is to be rejected and not chosen but his understanding is much more than man’s foolish understanding.He is Jesus Christ our lord, our God. Remember he died for us just to save our sins, to make us free, and be connected again to God, our big boss in heaven.
Just continue to hold to your faith and be fervent in your prayers.Do not fret at all that’s happening around and believe that God will make a way for your time to shine.
In the meantime,I do not mind not being chosen…
I do not want to let my head get in the way of my heart. I want to be so humble and childlike that God can use me as He wishes.
I am willing to be weak and without a will of my own, if this all means just submitting myself to the righteousness of God and letting His will be done in my life.
——
I dedicate this piece to the loving memory of my friend Ms Ai (Aileen Betic.)…you will never be forgotten, may the Lord watch over your soul. My heart goes out to the rest of her family and friends. Stay encouraged because she is with the Lord.
Rainbow
Have you seen a rainbow lately?
Just recently after a rain, I have witnessed two beautiful rainbows side by side appear in the sky. I’ve seen lots of rainbows but never one like this one.
I feel very lucky to have been able to see this. It’s a special thing and was such a wonderful sight to see. At the same time I felt a warm contented feeling inside.
It has left me with a peace and sense of gratefulness I have not experienced in a while.
Where I am I see rainbows all the time.
Maybe it’s because of this weird Auckland weather where rain is kind of on and off and coming from all directions. But I knew in my heart it is God working on me, I needed to be reminded that he is always there for me and I wasn’t alone.
I remember that day I was travelling the road home with friends and there was a light rain shower outside. Our usual routewas pretty much all motorway and there wasn’t a lot so we decided leave the main road and turned left at the signposted “Mill Road” and take the back way home.
The backway route is our favourite. It’s a smooth ride and eventhough it’s narrow, it’s got scenic views of the mountains to the left and right. But the great part is this route goes up and down like a real roller coaster ride!
As we reached the top switched back and plunged downhill, there in front of us was the most beautiful sight. A huge beautiful rainbow appeared in front of us among the hills.
I said to the group, I’ve seen the same one before and I know where the ‘end’ of the rainbow exactly will be, and we will see it as we climb up the highest part of the road. So we all got very excited to see the place, our eyes stuck in the sky as we don’t want to miss one moment of this spectacular view.
The little kids in the car started asking questions about rainbows.
They knew about the story of the pot of gold hidden at the end of the rainbow but got excited when one of us told the tale of the seven colourful fairies that live at the end of the rainbow. The other one saidif you touch a rainbow you will become pretty and the rainbow will impart lots of colours in your body that can’t be removed forever.
While the kids started laughing at the fairy tales, a flashback scene from my childhood popped into my head…
I saw my childhood friend holding colouring books. He had three but the one that says “Noah’s Ark Coloring Book” on the front caught my attention as it seemed to have a story. I approached him and asked if I could borrow the book for a while to read it. He looked at me and I noticed he thought twice before he handed me the book.
He asked me to be very careful because the book is a gift from his Aunty and it’s expensive. “Okay”, I said sheepishly as I sat beside him, but obviously he didn’t like me to stay close too him so I moved a little bit far.
So I started flipping through the pages of the coloring book. Some of the words I didn’t understand, but the drawings and the images fascinated me. On the left page is a colored scene from the story and beside it is a paragraph explaining the scene. On the right page is the same scene but in simple line drawing, the page to put colour into however one wants.
There was ascene in the clouds where two men are talking. There was scene where a man (Noah) was building an ark and on the side are people jeering and laughing at the him as if he was doing something crazy. The boat is then finished and the man’s family entered the ark along with two of all living creatures, small and big.
After the door of the ark was shut, heavy rain fell and the waters flooded the earth and every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out. When the rain stopped, the man let loose a bird who came back with a flower in it’s beak.They all came out of the ark and as the man in the clouds spoke, the sun came out from the clouds and the rainbow appeared in the sky.
I understood as child that God gave instructions to Noah to build an ark, and gathered each every kind of animal, male and female, to put inside the ark along with his family, because God will punish all the mankind and other living creatures.
As I grew up and got to read the story of Noah from the Bible, I learned that the rainbow symbolises the covenant God made with man not to destroy the world in such a way again.
That’s why a rainbow for me means hope.God gave us a unique and beautiful sign that good things are coming and to remind us that He keeps His promises.
Everytime I see a rainbow, I smile because my spirit is renewed and my hopes are reborn.
I hope next time I see our next door neighbour, they’d be nicer to me.
I hope someday I could l rejoin my childhood friends.
I hope I could fix my parent’s house, so that they won’t experience a ‘flash flood’ in the living room anymore everytime a heavy rain comes.
I hope my experiences in life have shaped me into a strong and compassionate person.
As I came back to my senses I realised we have gone past the spot where I thought you can see the ‘end’ (or the start) of the rainbow coming from the top of a hill.
But the rainbow stayed with us until we reached our destination.
I hope whenever I am down and hurting I could see a rainbow,
To remind me that no matter what goes on in my life, there is always hope
and that no matter what happens, God does not want me to give up,
Like the promise of a rainbow I will be happy and I’ll brighten up.
I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.
I will be strong and live my life to the fullest completely surrendered to God’s will …
“I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth. And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: And I will remember my covenant, which [is] between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that [is] upon the earth. ” (Genesis 9:13-16)
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Mother’s Heart
It’s 12:12 am here in Auckland and I still couldn’t sleep.
I feel cold… I feel lonely… I feel like crying
But I have to control my feelings…. I have too…
But then I heard my mother’s voice…I heard her calling my name from outside…
I thought I was in my old room so I answered back, “ Nanay andito po ako”. (I’m here mother)
But no one replied.
Then silence…except if one can hear the sound of falling tears…
I miss my mother so much today. I could really use a quick conversation and a smile from her right now. It’s been a whole year since I’ve last seen her and talked to her face to face. I wonder how she is.I wonder how she’s handling family matters, without me by her side.
Are my brothers there when she needs help?
Is she still having pain in her stomach?
I wonder if she can still afford to smile despite problems sneaking about every corner of her life.
I remember it all very well. Every morning she would wake up early and prepare us for school before she fixes herself for work. She’s the one who gives us “baon”(pocket money). She skilfully handles our family budget and our “making do” with how much we have during really tight times. Although most of the time I discover that instead of keeping some pocket money for herself, she’d selflessly give it to my younger brother if they ask for more or if they need to buy something for school.
“Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Exo 20:12
My mother has always been very supportive of my father. I never saw my parents quarrel. They did disagree some times but they were always at peace. I guess both of them know how to value and respect each other. They communicate with each other pretty well.
I remember my father always making “lambing” (playfully tease) with my mother using his soft voice and coy demeanour. They are so (annoyingly) sweet but really funny to see. Watching them gives me a clue on what to do in case God gives me the chance to have my own family.
I have so many memorable moments with my mother.Those moments with her gave me confidence and strength to continue to pursue my dream of a wonderful life in spite ofproblems, unexpected situations and hardship.
Deuteronomy 11:19 You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
“Less talk, less mistakes”, she said to me once when I asked her about how to control oneself when you feel you’re talking nonsense or have said something that got you into trouble.
My mother is the quiet silent type, but very strong. This is one thing I like about her.
Never did I hear her say bad words to any person.
She knows when’s the right time to say something, when to give reasons, and when to fight back.This is why many of her colleagues look up to her and turn to her for help and advice. She’s a good listener and great secret keeper too.
She is a teacher by profession, teaching secondary level students in a public school in Pasay City.I guess this is why she’s very patient and kind with us. I’d like to believe I got this trait too from her.
There was a TV ad in the Philippines before entitled “Mother knows best”.To me this phrase is really true. My mother knew what’s best for me. She is also the best role model. All I had to do is observe her, and the answer I’m looking for, I could find them in her actions, in her thoughts expressed, and the emotions showing on her face.
Once I asked my mother stupidly if I was a real child and not adopted, because I don’t look anything like my brothers. I knew she felt hurt with my comment and was worried that I don’t have trust and I’m feeling unfulfilled.
But she tried to hide her emotions instead she winked at me with a smile and said, “Sino ba kamukha mo?” (Trans. Don’t you think you look like me?)
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1
Through my childhood days up until now, I got the least chide from my parents.
I didn’t like to be the cause of my parents worry because every time I do something that makes them angry, I make my father look bad.He’s in charge of giving us parusa(punishment)although I know deep in his heart he didn’t like us to be hurt but just wanted to teach us a lesson. My mother will then hold us close to explain things and we would understand. As far as I’m concerned, my parents did a marvellous job raising my brothers and me. I will look back and see that everything they did have led me to the positive qualities which contribute to the person I am today.
“My son, observe the commandment of your father;And do not forsake the teaching of your mother;Bind them continually on your heart;Tie them around your neck.”Proverbs 6:20,21
All through these years of my life I have witnessed how kind, compassionate and caring person my mom is. She goes out her way for others, even if it means sacrificing her own time and comfort. This is another trait my mother passed on to me - always be ready to help those who need help. When in a train or bus, I generally go out of my way to offer a seat to someone who looks like they need it. I’m always reminded of my mother and how I want others to treat her in the same way.
” Everyone who quotes proverbs will quote this proverb about you: “Like mother, like daughter.” Ezek 16:44
I cannot help but wonder where my mother summons all the strength she has everyday. How could she have handled all of us, from my father, to us, down to her grandchildren.
Sometimes I watch my mother become so increasingly stressed and she begins to confide in me some of her agonies on family matters and problems encountered by each one of us which she feels she’s responsible for.Sometimes I experience this situation of my mother reaching out for help and crying in front of me. I’m like her shock absorber during these destressing times but halfway through it I’m left paralysed already and I can’t seem to endure the situation.
What if I shoulder all the responsibilities of my mother?Can I bear the burden? I don’t think so! As far as I know women have the capacity to bear pain better than men. They have the willingness to face pain and suffering. They can bear the pain of giving birth just by gritting their teeth.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13
People may think it strange but each one of us brothers appreciate that we have a “gift” or shall we say a talent we don’t know where from but none of us is actually interested to explore or hone. One of us claims he has the ability to feel if he is in danger (he can tremendously sense if someone is thinking of hurting him, or sometimes maybe he’s just paranaoid). One knows how to read cards (now this one is for fun), and one claims he can feel the presence of dead souls but not to the extreme (just scaring each other silly).
I think we inherited these gifts from our mother. When we started to notice strange things within ourselves and get into strange situations we can’t explain, she let us into a little secret, a story she has hidden to anyone. The story went back during her college days when one of her classmates asked her to come along with her to go see a sick person. My mother didn’t know that her classmate knows how to heal until she witnessed the incident. Her friend told my mother to put her hand over her hand and to my mother’s shock she felt her feetrise up a bit in the air or “lumutang sa ere”.
Her friend told my mother she is special and she has a gift, but after that incident my mother kept that experience to herself and tried to avoid coming along with her friend.
She felt that with the gift comes great responsibility and it may open things that may cause trouble in the future. So instead she focused on her personal prayer to God and from then on for every single prayer she had, God answered and often times her requests were granted.
My mother had always tried to look pleasant as possible, not complaining and tried to suppress the pain that was present in each day of her life. She always tried to make it appear as if life was fine. I still can remember her during her most vulnerable times. I saw her in so much pain as she cried and threw herself on her knees. I just couldn’t bear the sight. But this wouldn’t last long for almost as quickly as she was thrown down she would get up again to face a new day. Others wouldn’t know the battles she fought each day.
As we her sons grew older, we started drifting away from our parents. We no longer bother about what they think, instead our priority now is ourselves and our freedom. If our parents interfere with this freedom then comes conflict. My parents had been in particularly difficult times when us their sons get into trouble. They tried everything to save us but instead got the blame for their son’s struggles.
“Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death. “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.Exodus 21:15-17
Lucky us that we have a parents who are very understanding, and always praying for the same things for us - our safety,for us to do great in our chosen career and wonderful family life in the future.
I’m missing my mother so much. I hope to see her and my father soon when I get my vacation. I don’t know how I ended up moving to another country. Sometimes I think if being away from them is a sacrifice I have to go through, I pray this is all for the best and we would all benefit in the end.
2 Corinthians 12:14 ..For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children..
My mother stood there beside me through my life’s journey.
She taught me how to be strong, how to be caring and how to be a dreamer. Because of her I’ve accomplished a lot up to this point.
Sometimes it’s unthinkable that I too have a “gift” which my mother passed on to me.
If you ask me what my “gift” is, my one is the humblest among us four sons.
It is the gift of touching people’s lives.
There are times when I just want to drown myself in sorrow and tears.
I just wanted to leave and run away from everything.
To pretend I didn’t care for anyone at all.
But always, it hits me straight in my heart.
I am my mother’s son.
There is no room for self pity, no place to retreat.
I will never give up but I will fill myself with the courage my mother nursed me with.
I stand here in between hailing stones,
and with all the strength of my mother, I will endure sadness
and welcome all pain and obstacles,
as I continue to touch people’s lives wonderfully in the way God wanted me to.
—–
I dedicate this day to my loving mother, my teacher and my friend.
You knit me together in your womb hence you are my protector. I don’t know if a lifetime is enough to show my appreciation for all the treasure you have given me.
A Servant’s Life
Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is thank the Lord for the blessings of another day. Everyday he gives me an opportunity to serve and do wonderful deeds. Even if the day is meant to be tough, I know I will get through it, because He is always by my side.
There was a point in my life when I felt that my life is one big mess – a stagnant water that has turned into a messy, garbage dump – dirty rotten and stinking.
You wanted to unload something within but you can’t
You just “take” but never “give”
You keep as much as you can to yourself not even thinking if it’s good or bad for you,
You keep doing it over and over,
Until you find you can no longer stand looking at yourself long enough in the mirror.
You feel worthless and you have no hope
You are lost with nowhere to go
But the day I accepted God in my heart, my life turned around completely.
My life turned into flowing river – it’s clean and clear you can see fish swimming below,
There’s peace and quiet but you feel lively and joyful,
You feel you’d like to stay and flow with it forever
No one will reject you; instead they will appreciate you because they see you as a helping hand and a place for comfort.
When they’re thirsty you’ll be the one to offer water.
This is how it is like to be a servant of God.
We are the flowing water in the river of life.
We go up and down with the tides;
Sometimes we are fast moving, sometimes slow
Sometimes we are deep, other times we are shallow
We run quietly and peacefully, but rages into a wild and bumpy ride over rocky fields.
We reach a dead-end but we turn and see a small canal that leads to another continuously flowing river, in which we join and continue our wonderful adventure.
We encounter sadness and dangers along the way.
But we try to overcome and push ourselves ahead.
We can be strong enough to move rocks.
Sometimes we rest and gather everyone together
Until it is time, for us to flow again.
Sometimes unexpectedly our path leads us into a magnificent waterfall..when we let go and surrender everything to Him.
I’m comforted by these thoughts in times of trials, hardship and sufferings, and I know I will get through all of those. God provides everything we need for our lives. Everything is made easy for us.
How difficult could it be to become willing and joyful servants, and continue to be one whatever it takes.
Being a servant, you must be able to humble yourself by being obedient. You will follow and be guided by God, hence you will no longer feel alone.
“Happy are those who obey his decrees and search for him with all their hearts.” Psalm 119:2
Continue to serve even if you feel unworthy or weak. God needs you to be His instrument for sharing His love, His message.
He needs you to become more active, even smaller deeds can make a difference to others and may lead them closer to God.
Sometimes you never know, a river may stop flowing, and like a pond you may experience dryness. But do not worry, for according to 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, God comforts us when we are in any trouble. He is there to protect and save us. Even if we neglect him, He is grieved but He will never leave us.
That’s why God let the rain, so the river will be filled with water again. So that our mission as true servants of God- to be the continuous flowing water to those who are thirsty, will be consummated.
Lord, let me be your humble servant. Bind my body and tie my hands into Your service.
Govern my actions Oh Lord, and never let me go astray…
For this remember the life of God the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, how he accepted His fate and how He overcome the world.
“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
To all my brothers and sisters in Christ, I made a short video- a sequence of photos describing a Servant’s Life, from the start of yearning to finding a reason and a means of expressing, among the community of the Singles for Christ.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)
Don’t Worry
I was given a chance to see how God works in everyone of us even in a little animal like a bird.. I didn’t know that I will see this message in all of my photos that I found curiously interesting to shoot. Anyway have a wonderful time watching this video. Godbless…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBwj0k98sto
Uncategorized | Comment (0)God is Everywhere!
It was the Mother’s day Sunday (10 May) when I woke up and I felt like I got a message from God. I don’t know how you’ll believe me because I find it hard to believe me either.The whole day I’ve been thinking about what it is all about.
I’m going to try to explain this wonderful experience I had that morning. So bear with me.
I remember it was quarter to four in the morning when I woke up suddenly. Just as I opened my eyes, in my mind I saw flashes of scenes from my life, past and present.It’s hard to describe how I felt when I opened my eyes.I felt so light-hearted, so sedate like I’m floating. I felt like the heavy stuff I’m carrying inside had been lifted.
It was like answering the last question correctly in who wants to be a millionaire. I felt weightless, so serene, so peaceful, and so intense.
For that brief moment I was just lying there motionless. It was then that I heard a whisper in my head.It came so fast I couldn’t make it out, but before I could realise words came out of my mouth..“God is everywhere”.. was the message. Together, my mind and mouth repeated the message and like a broken record I said it over and over..
I have no doubt it was a message from God.
I got up and sat down on my bed with my blanket bundling up my whole body. It was really cold that morning.I started praying the rosary. I looked down at the rosary beads and at that moment I began to cry. I began to reminisce about my journey of knowing and experiencing who God is.
I first learned about God and his gospels during my childhood days. Once my mother caught me in my bed reading Bagong Tipan (The New Testament).Although I didn’t understand what the meaning of what I’m reading was, I just felt the urge to read it.
I started to join catechism class in our church; there I made lots of friends who were also starting to learn about God. Although I’ve learned to pray and read His Words in the bible, I wasn’t near close to knowing God intimately. I started by simply adopting an outward Christian appearance.
In the traditional Catholic tradition there are a number of different religious ceremonies that we observe. Taking part in these services give me some sort of enlightenment in a way that does not require teaching.In most provinces for example, they celebrate a weeklong “Fiesta” in honour of their patron saint. Every evening for about a week they conduct prayer meeting called “Padasal”.
There’s also the Flores de Mayo and “Santacruzan” festival during the month of May. The Santacruzan is a procession wherein the images of the patron saints are paraded. Last to be seen in the parade is the image of Mother Mary and Jesus Christ.
I thought we are lucky that we have these kinds of religious traditions. In the end we have something to share with others, to our sons and daughters as we pass on our faith to the next generation.
We also have different kinds of prayer practices, praying with the Rosary is one of my “favourite prayer”.
I graduated from a catholic high school and was an active member of one of the religious organizations in our school during that time.We have a subject called Religion where our teachers helped us understand all about Catholicism, taught us about the sacraments, introduced us to the parts of the bible, its history and its writers.
It was not till when I was at university when I met this someone who’d introduce me to another person in God’s Kingdom.
I was invited to join a leadership seminar retreat organized by the Student Government, because that time I was an officer in our Student Assistant group.I wasn’t that interested because I found out that the seminar would be handled by student activists and some underground youth group, but I gave it a try anyway.
In the morning of the second day of seminar, I was having a sentimental moment looking at the view of the mountain in front of us when I heard a sweet voice coming from behind. I turned around there stood a pretty girl talking to the service team of the seminar.
So it happened we introduced ourselves to each other and we started talking. That time I had this fascination with angels and I thought it was cool to share with her my little knowledge about angels’ hierarchies. She seemed interested in what I was saying and let me talk the whole morning.
Then in the afternoon, I thought it was my turn to ask her about her faith. She started to talk about “Jesus Christ”. She described Jesus Christ’s character so extensively that I felt embarrassed of myself that I know nothing compared to what she knows. I felt like I have to shut up. My knowledge of the angles is miniscule tiny compared to the overall picture of the Son of God she has zealously described.
I listened to every word she said, and one word that stuck in my mind was “Secured.” She was secured with Jesus Christ. I wondered to myself how can I feel secure and asked her to show me what she meant by that word. I allowed myself to seek and explore their faith. They said if you start to accept Jesus Christ as your Saviour, you must be born again. My journey towards a closer relationship with God started from here. I was like a constant traveller embarking on a new journey, this time finding a new way towards my one destination, knowing God personally this time through his Son Jesus Christ, our Saviour, the Shepherd, the Way, the Truth and the Life.
I learned that the more you draw yourself closer to Him, the more your life will also be filled with challenges and trials. Your faith in Him will bring you through all these trials and tribulations and you will discover how powerful God is.You will see how grateful He is, how He guides us, how He protects us, especially how He so loves us that He gave his only son Jesus Christ just to save us from our sins.
I also began to read stories about history of some Saints and the history of Mary the mother of God. I fondly refer to Mother Mary as my Mama Mary, because sometimes if there are things I just can’t handle alone, she’s the one I always call on to, like a child who stumbled and fell down the road, and got a pretty deep cut on his feet.The child cries and the first person he calls is his Nanay (mother).
I thought my journey of faith has ended until I got to New Zealand through a friend who’s helped me find a job here. He introduced me to God the Father, Yahweh to others, Jehovah to my friend.I had a hard time digesting the teaching and knowledge that I’ve been learning that one night I just found myself crying while talking to my priest friend in front of the webcam.
I was waiting on an answer to my question about my faith.I asked myself why this is all happening to me, why I’m having confused thoughts and why I can’t express what I truly feel. I felt inadequate to explain or defend myself. If I voice my true opinion and it’s very different from theirs, I was afraid they will not understand me and I am letting them down, them whom I am forever grateful for and I owe my present success to.
In the end I stopped resisting and just let myself focus on the things that God wants me to know. Gradually and slowly I was completing my understanding of the hierarchy in the Kingdom of heaven, starting from the Angels, Saints, Mama Mary, God the Son and God the Father.
I have met other amazing people who come from different perspectives. And as I try to open my mind and learn more about their faith, I started to notice I have a great deal in common with them than I expected.
Because of the experiences I’ve had in my journey, I think I’ve become much more appreciative of others’ insights. I share my own faith to them by accepting our differences and listening well as they explain their faith.
Although it bothers me if they start to insist their faith on me. I’m afraid that they see me as a person who is lost and that I’m not righteous or godly, or that my faith is not good enough because I don’t even have the ability to express it when I’m challenged.
I have many friends who say “they are happier when they enter into another faith”, some say “it is their faith that prevails”, others believe that “there’s really only one faith which is their faith”.
As for me, I’m quite happy where I am. Where I am, I am able to recognize the presence of God in everything and everywhere. As I’m writing this blog I’m beginning to understand why God led me to difficult situations in my life -so that I may understandthat as individuals we want more room, more space and more freedom. We have the right to our own mindset and we were all given the free will to choose our own way. We may choose to believe differently, which is why sometimes we oppose each other and create differences that may lead to failure to understand, accept and love one another.
This is why I think God permits if we have differing faiths, so that in our own ways we continue to seek for Him, as He continually seeks for us to choose Him and His way.
If your faith prevents you from seeing God in one another, maybe it’s time to give your faith a second thought. The moment you see the face of God in another person, all your differences vanish, and all that’s left is the common denominator that God lies deep within our hearts, and this should lead to understandingand acceptance of people for who they are, no matter how different their faith is from yours.
I’m lucky to have this kind of faith. Even though I’m not an avid reader of the bible and my spiritual knowledge is inadequate, God gave me a simple teaching to help me get my day off to a good start. All the rest will follow from here I hope.
I no longer question my own and other people’s faith, who is real and who is not, who’s got the best answer or have the best explanation to the bible verses. The human mind makes this all complicated.
For as long as I know in my heart that God is here with us everywhere we go, makes my faith different from others This is my faith, this is where God leads me. With firmness I fully embrace my faith and I know He will always be here to help me.
So that morning I finished my rosary prayer, and I felt the urge to share the message I got to my friends. I hesitated for a while thinking about how people will react once they read my text message. I’m sure they’ll be weirded out receiving a message from God apparently very early in the morning..
But I told myself, I’m ready and I’ll take whatever reaction I get, for as long as I’m able to share what I got from God, and that I no longer think about myself , it’s the message that is important and what God wanted me to do with it.
So I did it, I sent and shared my God’s message at the press of a key…(after waiting a few hours to daybreak of courseJ).
The next day. I told my self that I should attend my SFC household meeting because I haven’t seen them for a while now. A brother came to pick me up, and while on our way, he asked me about my text message and what got into me for sending it. I told him bits and pieces about what I experienced that Sunday morning.
Then he told me that during their leaders meeting on Saturday evening, they have this worship session wherein anyone who gets a message from the Holy Spirit can share it. One of the sisters got the same message that “God is everywhere”.He said that my text to them is a confirmation about the message they got.I also got a text message from a sister who said “thanks for sharing the Lord’s message. One of the messages given when we had worship last Sat is the same message you had yesterday!”.
Not that I’m trying to sound like I’m special and that I’m chosen by God, but I know I’m being prompted by the Holy Spirit and the responses I got a few hours after I sent the message are confirmation that the Holy Spirit has guided me in spreading His message.
Through my quest for knowledge of the hierarchies in the kingdom of heaven, I believe it is also the Holy Spirit who was my helper and has guided me into all. It is the Holy Spirit that gave me the strength to seek more of God and gave me the wisdom to know and understand his creations, his Son Jesus Christ our Saviour, Mother Mary and the lives of every character in the bible.It gave me inspiration to become a true servant of God by introducing me to the noble lives of our saints.I believe it is the Holy Spirit that guides my heart and mind to understand that every difficult situation is a trial allowed by God and He will send an agent or messenger to give directions that will lead us to the right way to Him.
My journey towards an intimate relationship with God is never-ending. I will continue to humble myself and pray as I seek thy face in others and turn from my wicked ways.
It is easy to see God’s face in the people you love. But blessed is the man who was splendidly dressed but stopped to give alms to a poor beggar, for he knows that God dwells in humility and he saw God’s face in the humble appearance of the barefoot and ragged beggar. And blessed is the beggar whose face lift up with joy and didn’t doubt he came face to face with the God of love and generosity as he reached for the man’s hands and bowed in gratitude for his alms.
Oh Lord, teach me to see with my heart and help me open my eyes so that I can come to see Thy face in those around me.Change me and help me see each person in my life differently. Help me so I can see them as You see them, a child You love so much.
This is God’s wonderful message… I believe that He wants me to share it with you.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Failure to Love
Have you ever fallen in love?
Have you ever tried putting your whole self into loving someone thinking that maybe he/she is the right person?…
Can you control your feelings?
Have you found the right person? Is there really someone out there waiting for you?
How do you love someone who really cares about you?
How far do you think can your love last?
Is there love that never dies?
Many other kinds of questions branch out as I think about this thing called “Love.”
I have my own love story to tell too but there’s no doubt love is not an easy subject to deal with.
In life I have failed in so many ways, but the sadness in my eyes isn’t from the life I’ve lived, but from the fact that at one point in my life I have failed in love.
I just keep on asking why I have failed to love someone who loves me, who cares for me, who trusts me, and one who’s put their hope in me. I have clearly failed to make someone feel loved and I am very sorry, but now I’ve lost them forever.
I don’t understand why I let it happen.
Maybe my love is not enough,
Maybe I’ve been so focused on my career and life goals,
Maybe I’ve been very concerned about my family and there was no room for anyone else.
Maybe I was afraid to be hurt.. Worried about others against your relationship..
Or maybe I had doubts that she is the one I dream of.. Afraid to accept that later on I’ll come to realization that she is not the right person for me.
And then fall out of love ….
It’s really confusing sometimes. Sometimes it’s depressing that when it comes to you, you feel painful inside, no hope, no joy, and no way to understand everything.
But we’re only humans. We’re not capable at loving in the “perfect” way I think. Despite our best efforts, at times we fail to give love, in return to what was given to you by your family, your friends, or anyone else.
I tried seeking for answers.
Although none of the answers seem to get it just right , first thing that came to my mind was the story of Eve as she ate the fruit from the forbidden tree of life. Eve was the first to exercise human choice and free will even though she has been warned that this would be dangerous. Because of this we acquire human consciousness, we now can identify what is right and wrong for us. We become conscious of our own needs, we long for something, something which can satisfy us. That’s why we often choose that which we think is attractive and makes us feel good, even though it’s not right thing and we know far better.
Temptation too can destroy you if you’re not strong enough. According to Mark 7:16 “You are defiled by what you say and do!” This is saying temptation originates within the heart of man. I’m fighting a battle against this myself up until now. I think for a relationship to work, both must be aware of the temptations lurking around. If you give in, even a little, your flesh will want more and more. If you let yourself fall into it, it can destroy your life and the lives of the ones you love.
So make no mistake about it. Guard your heart against it. It is a dangerous trap that can destroy everything you hold dear.
Another factor could be our priorities in life. During my university days I always thought it’s better if I finish my studies first before entering into a relationship. I didn’t realise I was putting up wall around me as a sort of unspoken challenge to those I encounter. With this wall I block anyone who likes to see through what’s inside my heart. No one was able to truly get close to me. Sadly, I trapped myself in never knowing who really cared and no one could knock down my wall.
The emotional maturity of a person is also vital. Maybe it was too early for me to commit to love then. Maybe I failed because then I wasn’t mature enough to face the pain and sadness that comes with love when you put yourself into it.
I suppose each one of us have our own answers.
I remember a friend once told me, that when God gave us a heart, he put only half of it in ourselves, the other half he gave to others, which is why we have this feeling of not being full or complete. But when the right time comes, you will find your other half, the two pieces will be joined together to make the heart whole again.
For some people what makes their heart whole again is enjoying time with their friends and family, or even with their career.
So I want to tell you.. Do not lose hope if you’ve failed in love. But most of all do not lose heart. Failure does not have to be the end, rather it should be the beginning of your search for the right love, for a much bigger love, that which can save you from your pain, from your sacrifice, from your emptiness. It’s that love that shows you the right way to go, teaches you to accept others, one that enlightens and gives hope that someday somehow love will shine upon you, the promise of an endless love you cannot imagine.
The love that I’m talking about is the Love of God to us.
God’s love never failed us. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Are we not blessed for this? God loves us more than anything in the world, so much that He sent His only Son to die for us so that we could have eternal life with Him.
How awesome is this love!
Romans 8:38 “Nothing can ever separate us from His love”.
In return, we give ourselves to Him, it may sound selfish, but to the one who loves you more than words can say…why not. There are many ways we can show our Love for God. God Himself will guide us as to how, according to our own capacity. You can show your love by helping the poor and the needy that God loves, by guiding and helping Jesus’ followers, by obeying Him, worshiping and praising Him for loving us despite of how unworthy we are of His love.
Love is patient, love is kind… famous lines from 1 Corinthians 13. Whenever I find it difficult to give love in return of love, or someone has failed to give back my love, I always think of this verse. And then I’m not worried anymore.. And I find the strength to resist temptation, not giving it a chance to intrude into my life and make me miserable.
And I realize, God let me fail in love so I’ll have an opportunity to get to know His Love for me. And that goes for you too!
Dear God let’s have a heart to heart talk.
I know that you want me to receive the best and you have prepared for my life. I’m hoping that somehow you will lead me to the person whom I will love for the rest of my life. I hope I’ll have the courage to confront it when it comes to me, to embrace and accept her exactly as she is. I hope for a lasting relationship together until we grow old. There will be obstacles for sure, that’s why I’m praying for it…
Because I know, even though I have failed in love several times, you don’t want me to give up on love. You love me even when I fail and have messed up a few times.
I want you to teach me how to love even if love wasn’t given in return.
Through all my failures, I know through my faith that I am never alone.
Never will I feel abandoned or forgotten…
I take comfort in knowing your love will accompany me through the rest of my life..
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